"We're A Normal Family"

One of the headlines that has emerged following the death of Michael Jackson was made one of Jackson's siblings, though I can't remember which one. Sorry. The headline stated, "We're a normal family."



My first reaction was "You've got to be kidding. What planet are you on?" I know scores of "normal" families and not one of them has produced a single hit record much less made hundreds of millions of dollars in the recording industry. And then there's the whole business of alleged parental abuse. Not only is your childhood and adolescence going to be turned upside down if you're making hit records and traveling the world doing concerts but if your parents are physically and emotionally abusing, as has been alleged by Jackson and his siblings, then you can hardly claim to be a "normal" family. In short, if you're looking for a working definition of a dysfunctional family a good place to start would be the Jackson family.



My second reaction, however, was slightly different. My second reaction was there maybe more truth in the Jackson sibling statement that first meets the eye.



I know it sounds crazy but bare with me. Hear me out before you decide that I have lost my mind. Here's what I have observed about families, and when I say families I'm throwing a blanket over all families, including mine. You see, I have come to believe that all families are dysfunctional. Granted some families are more dysfunctional than others but I'm convinced that all families are dysfunctional to one degree or another. We fight, we pout, we manipulate, we're late, we spend too much, we save too much, we're too generous, we're not generous enough, we shout, we sulk... the list goes on and on. The notion that a "normal/average" American family is well adjusted and if not happy all the time is at least content is part of the myth of the American Dream. Family life is about relationships and the business of relationships is tough stuff. We even see it with Jesus and his family. Remember the scene where Jesus is teaching when a disciple interrupts and tells Jesus that his mother and brothers are outside and want to see him. Remember what he says? He says to the disciples, "Tell them I have no mother or brothers." Ouch! How do you think that went over with Jesus' family members? Not well, I suspect.



Now if that sounds like all bad news, you've missed the point. I would suggest that by starting out with the notion that all families are dysfunctional to one degree or another it sets us free. It sets us free from the guilt of trying to be something that it's impossible to be... the perfect family.



Do I think that the Jackson family is normal. Not hardly. But I also think they're not alone when it comes to being dysfunctional. I think it's something all families share to one degree or another.